preacherman

Monday, September 24, 2007

One-Sided Relationships

There are several things people long for the most. One of these things is having a great friendship with someone.

Jesus had friends, but Peter, James and John, I believe, were his closest friends. I believe John was his best friend. Jesus tells John to take care of His mother while hanging on the cross.

I think we all have "church friends" with which we like to "hang out;" friends like those with whom we blog (I think that is really a cool thing now that I am a blogger). But, we also have those friends that we love that are close to us. They mean a lot. We admire them. They are the ones whom we have gone to with our problems and, at times, our advice. It may be a spouse, friend from high school or even a former or current colleague.

What if the relationship is one-sided though? What if you realize that you are the only one who makes the effort? What if you are the only one who makes the sacrifices? What if you are the only one who calls or e-mails? What if you are the only one who remembers birthdays and anniversaries? What if you are the only one who tries to take the initiative? Is there a point where you should say enough is enough?

So, what if we believe in God, but never talk to Him? What if we receive His blessings but never thank Him? What if we go to church, but never really give our hearts over to Him? What if he gave His son to die, but we never really belong to Him? Do you think He might feel like a human feels when a relationship becomes one-sided?


What do you think?
Share your thoughts.

49 Comments:

Blogger jel said...

where do you come up with these great posts, that you are coming up with,
and that is a good Q? does Jesus get hurt. I don't know,


I have friends , but i have never had a very close friend that I could really talk to!

7:46 PM  
Blogger cwinwc said...

We know God is patient. No, make that very patient with us. We also know from the O.T. that God can get to a point with us or a people where He can impose judgments against us. I don’t think God “needs” a close relationship with us but he does expect it and He is willing to share Himself with us.

10:40 PM  
Blogger AncientWanderer said...

When He was on earth He felt betrayed, bewildered, and a bit bellicose at times because of His "friends" and others around Him. So why not now?

12:16 AM  
Blogger laymond said...

Rev 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

I believe this also applies to the Son of God, I doubt he is pineing away for earthly things, while surrounded by heaven, thats why not now Don.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Stoned-Campbell Disciple said...

Grace applies to one sided friendships too. There have been times when I have felt the very things you describe. But I am positive that my friends sometimes feel the same thing about me.

Shalom,
Bobby Valentine

12:17 PM  
Blogger NaNcY said...

i think that God
desires
wants
requires
for us to relate with Him.

it is huge.

it is the number one thing that the enemy wants to sever.

why we were made by Him.

i think that His Love is greater than our faiures

i think God feels something beyond what a human feels in our separation and struggle

and i am so grateful that God did not give up on us

12:19 PM  
Blogger Monalea said...

Excellent and thought provoking.

Monalea

12:36 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

Wow... Your last paragraph was right what I was going to comment. You beat me to it! I read a devotional at OnePlace.com yesterday by Cec Murphey.

It talked about having quiet times and devotionals, not out of hunger, but so that God will love us more or so that we will have his favor or so that the one prayer we've been needing answered will get answered.

Kind of like me buying flowers for my wife and when she says, "Thank you!", me saying, "I just thought they'd make you love me more." She'd be distraught. "I don't love you enough?", she'd probably think.

Using God for our own agendas = Spiritual Masturbation.

The post is comming at Gabbatha, so stay tuned.

1:17 PM  
Blogger DJG said...

At first I thought you had been reading my mind (want friends)

Then I thought you had been talking to my husband (he makes all the efforts...I am a slob)

Then I realize you were just being used by God to talk to me. Thanks!

1:45 PM  
Blogger Matthew said...

I am sure he did, and one sided relationship die with time, but the question is when to stop.

4:23 PM  
Blogger NaNcY said...

this is so good!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTOOugQwOzk

5:07 PM  
Blogger Darin L. Hamm said...

Interesting thoughts. Thanks preacherman. I am still thinking about them.

6:22 PM  
Blogger Tess said...

Honey,
I know you have been hurt at times by people who have been "friends," but have acted only in their self-interests. It's a human foible to allow ourselves to fill up our lives with self, but I know this hurts you badly because you want so much to help people, even if it's at your own expense. It's something I love about you. It makes you you. I hope that I can be there to mitigate some of the hurt you feel sometimes and I know it feels lonely and hurtful when you have gone through so much, but know that I'm here for you through all of your pains - including any pains I have caused you.

Love you, Mrs. Preacherman

10:37 PM  
Blogger jel said...

Morning PM!



have a Blessed Day!

5:53 AM  
Blogger NaNcY said...

JESUS LOVES US...JESUS LOVES US!

PRAISE GOD!

JESUS IS LORD!!!!

YAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

4:45 PM  
Blogger Royce Ogle said...

Most of the time the reason we humans are hurt and disappointed is that we have unrealistic expectations of each other.

Jesus, who is God, knows each of us infinately. He is never surprised by our actions. He knows that we fail, sin, and disappoint each other but loves us any way.

That is only one reason why He is God and you and I are not.

Grace to you,
Royce Ogle

6:33 PM  
Blogger Liz Moore said...

Wow!! I think you just stepped on a lot of toes! I'm afraid that more often than not our relationship with Jesus it too one-sided. What a great analogy for a reminder! Blessings!

7:19 PM  
Blogger mmlace said...

Interesting thoughts...not sure I've thought of it quite like that before...

Except that sometimes, we, as humans, can become angry or bitter with the other person in a one-sided relationship, and we just give up on them.

Praise God that He doesn't give up on me...that His love never fails and His mercies are new every morning!

7:27 PM  
Blogger Wade Tannehill said...

It's three in the morning and I can't sleep so I thought I'd catch up on my blog reading.

Excellent post! I'll try to stop being a one-sided friend.

3:32 AM  
Blogger NaNcY said...

ain't no relationship
that matters more

than the one on one
with God

ain't no one
that is more important

it's the one on one
with God

more important
than our partners

more important
than our kids

ya know he has it all
and keeps us
in the palm
of His Hand

yes, He keeps us
He keeps us all
in the Love
of His hands

11:11 AM  
Blogger Ted M. Gossard said...

Preacherman, A great and wonderful post. One to really think about. Thanks, brother!

10:07 PM  
Blogger jel said...

morning

hope you are doing ok!
have a great weekend

10:37 AM  
Blogger Terry said...

Preacherman,
If I understand the book of Hosea and the tears of Jesus as he looked over the city of Jerusalem, I believe that God hurts when he is the only one interested in a relationship. Good post!

3:21 PM  
Blogger David Kirk said...

Excellent thoughts! I must think about that!

12:22 AM  
Blogger ROD WILLETT said...

In answer to your question, the answer is no, only because one of God's attributes is that he is all sufficient. To say that he "needs" us takes away from that attribute. I think he enjoys us, but he doesn't need us. Professor David Needham used to teach Doctrine of the Godhead at Multnomah School of the Bible, and I wish he was around to give us an inspiring lecture, as only he could do.

10:32 PM  
Blogger NaNcY said...

have you been busy atalkin' to God?

11:50 AM  
Blogger Gord said...

In response to this post, I have been wrestling with how God feels about us. Sure, he loves us, but does he feel our hurts, griefs, and our disappointments. I am sure he does. What has convinced me? Two words from scripture. Contemplating these words will accomplish more than any words of mine can convey. Those two words are, "Jesus wept." John 11:35

5:26 PM  
Blogger Todd Ramsey said...

When we talk, share or spend time with our "earthly" ppers aren't we interacting with God per Matt. 25?

For what it's worth, I think God is hurt more when we neglect those around us than when we neglect our "relationship" with Him.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Todd Ramsey said...

ppers = peers, peeps or friends.

Sorry.

4:23 PM  
Blogger laymond said...

Just dropped by to see how you are doing. May God bless

11:53 AM  
Blogger preacherman said...

Sorry,
I haven't responded to anyone.
My entire family has been down with strep throat.

12:01 PM  
Blogger jel said...

sorry to hear that!

hope U all get to feeling better soon!


blessings

12:28 PM  
Blogger NaNcY said...

strep throat! and here i thought you were just teaching us a lesson about one-sided relationships! ;-)

(just kidding !)

3:47 PM  
Blogger preacherman said...

Jel,
Thanks.

3:52 PM  
Blogger preacherman said...

Nancy,
LOL.
You are such a comedian.:-)
I am starting to feel so much better. God is good and does answer prayers. I may post a new post in the next day or two depending on how I am feeling. I hope you have a good day. And thanks for the laugh. :-)
One sided class.......That's great. :-)

3:54 PM  
Blogger Kansas Bob said...

Glad you are feeling better P! Aren't you glad that God is not like us ... he would probably have few friends if He ws :)

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