Monday, May 18, 2009

Never Let It Die

Over the last two and half years I have struggled with depression. I delt with it in many damaging ways. I am now thankful that I have a great neurologist who knows what he is doing and alternative meditations and hypnosis will also be helpful. I have been moved by the powerfer message of a musician and artist that struggled with his own demons of deep depression. Jamey Jasta of the rock group Hatebreed tells of his battle on their album Supremacy.
Jasta states, "I believe that we all hav e a spark inside us that over time and though knowledge and experence can be ignited into something massive. It's a simple concept. Fan a flame adn the embers will burn into a huge fire. Throw cold water on it and it is extingushed. Never let anyone extinguish the spark inside youum. It may sound cliche' or cheesy but believe that what you have on the inside is more than you will ever know. " The song that follows tells of how we should never let that spark or power within us die. It is powerful.

Never Let It Die

The flame was almost extinguished
the will had faded and escaped me
Two years had passed and they wilted away
All that was left were memories of day I never lived

Now the fight is on, until there's nothing left
I'll fight like never before
The fight is on, until my final breath
I've never wanted anything more.

I must never let it die

Bonds are strengthened when they've been tested
and mended when they've been torn
so give all of yourself that there is to give
cause in life to have never risked is to have never lived
so give all of yourself that there is to give
cause in life to have never risked is to have never lived
Now the fight is on, until there is nothing left
I'll fight like never before
The fight is on, until my final breath
I'll never wanted anything more

I must never let it die

So resolve, seassure and push on with out fear
Ignight the flame, because only you govern what tomorrow holds
it's inside us all wait to be awoken
It is more than words described
That is the spark, let it burn, makit build
It will never be denied

Becuase the fight is on, untilt here's nothing left
I'll fight like never before
The fight is on, until my final breath
I've never wanted anything more

I must never let die,
We will let it die, NEVER
by Hatebreed

I am resolved to overcome my fight with depression and pain that I have been faced with in my life. I am going to fight to be the best husband, father, brother and believer that I can. I am going to fight until there is nothing left to overcome all the things that have harmed my relationships and hindered my faith. I am going to fight til my final breath to be the best friend that I can be with Christ God.

What are you willing to fight for? What do you want to overcome? What are you faced with in your life that has kept you from being the person you can become? How can we fan the flame within us to make the difference we want? What do you think about you having the power to handle your life the way you want in making a difference that is so huge? What will you never let die?

What do you think?
Share your thoughts.


Blogger Dusty Chris said...

Your honesty is refreshing. I think when we experience trials, whether internal or external, it makes us better equipped to do ministry, to understand and be sensitive to others around us. Struggles give us perspective that those without struggles can not understand. For me, I have to remind myself of my God-given purpose and sometimes that is enough to help to motivate me. Other days, I feel like I am wading through knee deep mud just to get anything accomplished. On those days, I must lower my expectations of what I am going to get done.

On hard days, I have learned to not define myself by what I am going to get accomplished. Instead, I remind myself that I am loved and that the grace of God covers me.

Father, in the name of Jesus, bring your light into darkness, hope into despair and healing into our woundedness. We declare that Jesus is Lord over depression, and we wait with anticipation for your healing.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kinney, you words encourage.

amen, to dusty's prayer.

4:29 PM  
Blogger jel said...


you can beat this! Ya do have GOD holding ya up! :)

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not giving up is what God wants.
This life just simply sucks sometimes.
But we have a job to do, all of us. That job is me, myself, and I standing as firmly as my physical and mental strength allows= FOR GOD.

I'll pray.
But ultimately it is just you and God in the room... in your life. And He ain't gonna leave the room before you do.

:) Don :)

9:52 PM  
Blogger Ted M. Gossard said...

With all you have gone through and are going through, God is doing a lot, for sure.

Yes, we need to hold on to that human resolve, but we can only do so by holding on to God, to his grace and mercy to us in Christ.

But yes, nearly everyday I have a sense that I'm in a fight, it seems. Rare are the days in which there is no period in which that isn't true. So I experience what you're talking about on a smaller scale.

Tis' good to arm ourselves with the right attitudes in Christ. Because all of us in Jesus are in a fight, I believe, during this time.

Praying for you.

3:44 AM  
Blogger nannykim said...

You know, sometimes when we have breathers from trials, we tend to get apathetic. We tend to forget that we are in a spiritual battle at all times for our souls, for our experiencing the fullness and excitement of God. I used to pray daily the passage in Ephesians 6 as a reminder that what I am experiencing in this life is WAY more than what I am seeing with my eyes. I am in a battle with the forces of evil. The whole armor of God is what I need . all of the areas mentioned there.

Do not ever feel you are alone in your battles....the more you get to know fellow Christians intimately, the more you will realize we all are fighting battles that God has allowed in our lives to perfect the areas we need perfecting . HE wants to drive us to Himself. He wants us to seek to know Him in a much deeper way. He wants us to know that HE HIMSELF is our answer , our trust when nothing makes human sense.

As far as battles my life..there have been different ones at different times....poverty, physical pain, strained relationships, intimate family members who are gay, alzheimers, asbergers (sp?), children who have drifted from God at times, unfaithfulness, deathly illness, medical accidents....the list could go on and on....thank the Lord for his great grace and mercy in each of our lives. Thank Him that He is here and present.

9:24 AM  
Blogger nannykim said...

Oh, hey, if you ever get the time to listen to this testimony, do so. It is by a 37 year old woman that was given 6 months to live and how she has handled it. She had cancer back when she had cancer when she was 32 but it now has spread to her liver, bones, and brain. It is a wonderful testimony and full of wisdom and advice:

11:53 AM  
Blogger Gary said...


Never been unloved!
So yes, continue to do as Paul did in his life: Remember, He said, I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith, Hence, there is a crown of righteousness for me and not only to me but to all that are called according to his purposes!
Press on , hold fast to that which is good. and Stand.

12:07 PM  
Blogger nannykim said...

I wanted to share this quote that I read today--really helpful for me:

I like what Paul Miller says about the desert place in our lives:

"God takes everyone he loves through a desert. It is his cure for our wandering hearts, restlessly searching for a new Eden. Here's how it works.

The first thing that happens is we slowly give up the fight. Our wills are broken by the reality of our circumstances. The things that brought us life gradually die. Our idols die for lack of food......

The still, dry air of the desert brings the sense of helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer. You come face-to-face with your inability to live, to have joy, to do anything of lasting worth. Life is crushing you.

Suffering burns away the false selves created by cynicism or pride or lust. You stop caring about what people think of you. The desert is God's best hope for the creation of an authentic self.

Desert life sanctifies you. You have no idea you are changing........
The desert becomes a window to the heart of God. He finally gets your attention because he's the only game in town....................Without realizing it, you have learned to pray continuously. The clear, fresh water of God's presence that you discover in the desert becomes a well inside your own heart."

7:37 AM  
Blogger Milton Stanley said...

I'm glad you're finding some relief, Kinney. Depression is one of the worst afflictions, because it encourages us to despair of ever getting out of it. I'm praying you'll continue hoping. Peace.

11:50 AM  
Blogger thekingpin68 said...

Mild depression is a common struggle for me.

I pray, thank God and ask forgiveness in all things. A major focus and lesson for me is to deal with what I can change with God's help and concern myself less with what is not in my power, or is minimally so.

This is not easy.

Cheers, Preacherman.

3:22 AM  
Blogger preacherman said...

I want to thank everyone for their encouraging words and testimony. We each have our struggles, fights, trials, but it is encouraging that we have each other to encourage and uplift. Isn't it encouraging and uplifting to know that you are not alone in this battle of life. I know it helps me get through each day. I believe that each of us have been called to great things. It is up to the "individual" to do what he or she has been called. Allowing God to ignite the fire that will never go out. A fire that will make a difference in the world and kingdom.

So, let us not give up. Let us fight each day knowing tht we can do all things through Christ!

I hope each of you have a blessed week and thank each of you for being a blesing in my life.

10:54 AM  
Blogger cwinwc said...

So glad to hear you're doing better. The greater battles always are the ones within instead of outside the body.

11:06 PM  
Blogger David Kirk said...

Praying with you ....

12:01 AM  
Blogger Kansas Bob said...

You are so inspirational Kinney.. your words teared me up.. I understand depression.. I have been very depressed.. life can sometimes be so dark.. yet I echo your words and say with you:

I am resolved to overcome my fight with depression and pain that I have been faced with in my life.

12:07 PM  
Blogger jel said...

hey preacherman (friend)

hope U and your family have a great weekend!


7:54 PM  
Blogger Ted M. Gossard said...

Hope you're doing better, and having a better day today, Kinney. You're in my prayers.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Kansas Bob said...

Ditto what Ted said for me Kinney.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Jill said...


I found your blog through Kansas Bob's. Then I realized that Justin Bronson told me about you. (I know Justin from Carolina Bible Camp)
I read your words and appreciate the honesty and conviction to overcome. I was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) 5 years ago. The depression accompanying the progression of this disease caught me off guard. I think that is one of satan's greatest tools.
Thank you for sharing.

9:11 PM  
Blogger preacherman said...

Thank you for your testimony. I appreciate your comments and want you to know that you are welcome here anytime. I pray for strength as you fight ALS. GBS has played a toll on me and my life both physically, spiritually, and mentally. I am currently writting a book about my experiences with GBS.

9:13 PM  
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