Friday, August 30, 2013

Your Pain Isn't About You

My sermon on Sunday. My testimony. Your Pain isn't About You


Blogger Paul G said...

Yes Kenny, your pain is all about you!
Pain does not come from nothing, and no you don't have a choice how you use your pain. If you would have a choice, you would choose to be pain free.
You need to inquire of the Lord in those matters, trust in Him with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.

5:13 AM  
Blogger Paul G said...

Kansas Bob.
A comment to your comment on the previous post.

I think that most people struggle with God being a loving God because they have embraced a false theology who teaches that God doesn't inflict pain and suffering (Ex. 4:10, Isa. 45:6, Deut. 32:39), and that He really really really loves them so much that he wouldn't lift a finger to release them from their pain and suffering.

No brother Bob, you are really really really wrong, perhaps you should take the advice from anonymous and read the Bible once more.
Kind regards

5:16 AM  
Anonymous Wade Tannehill said...

Good message, Kinney. Your theology is spot on.

Thankful for you, Brother. You're a good man.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Christian Hadesh said...

So, I started this post quite a while back, and didn't feel like it was the right place or time to release it. But it seems appropriate here it is unedited, and not ready for your eyes... But lends to this topic in such a justified way: Blessing, C.H.

Do you ever find the conversation escalating (or digressing if you are the typical woman) to the point of talking about your scars.
"Well, you see this one? It is when I was the accidental completion of a 240v circuit. That AC decided the path of least resistance was to make a bolt of lightning shoot from my big toe into that..." and on and on we go until someone admits to the game stopper of, "And this one here is a gunshot wound... or when I used to knife fight for money..."

Ah the deep satisfaction, especially amongst men and extravert Women. Talking about the scars and stories behind them. Those are usually fun times where we see what was, and the miraculas way God healed that part of flesh- when an interesting story left a mark but it was healed by the power of our God.

How different we treat the hearts wounds. The shame, emaressment, lonliness and privacy we tend to hold on to.While the emotional wounds aren't always the best to just vomit up for all to hear, and comparing abuse or "PTSD" and what caused it.
What a shame. The physical battle wounds of life, get a heroes parade, they draw us in a common bond (a sense, not unlike "brothers in arms")... The accidental scrapes and contusions get held up with pride because we assume (and rightfully so), that even a new found friend can identify with the pain of a cut a bruise or a broken bone... but the heart, the part that God want us to give of freely is keptwithout gratuitous detail comparintg our battle scars allows for and identification another. Let me see if I can keep this post short: I'll list mine our with only clarifying details. And for those who have been reading and following: Leave a comment, a related experience, something that says my wounds are healing. Not a time to brag, but to glorify God and say, "Here is what I went through... What God allowed to happen in order to make his name perfect in ___________ (fill in the blank)" And also to recognize "I know the empathy of others proves 'I too,' can survive this."

This is not an exercise in deep catharsis. There is a time and a place for doing such, I believe, but in the RIGHT way, usually with the help of someone who can give you perspective. A post open to all is not the correct venue. Instead this is to be a time of understanding...

Understanding of what?

The simple truth: Even though I/you don't want someone to hurt, we want to know that in our pain, we are not alone... Or, in addition: When this__X__ happened, I want to see or understand the perspective of the one who was there as well. I need to hear the proclamations of, 'Oh, what joys I now embrace, and what cries of wonderment I sing, On every street, in my home, on the roof, etc.'

Then, when I am enabled, I look into the past with God's eyes. An expression of amazement grips tightly somewhere in my stomach, and the feeling it rises from somewhere in my physical body. I (you) feel that "giddy dread of wonder."

IT (HE) pulls me to my knees, on the dusty road of my heart. I become like Saul to Damascus. I'm left with perfect sight, even when my physical eyes are blinded.

In my anguish, or numbingly surreal pain, I was given time; or I remembered a 'word' of encouragement/comfort, or I realized I was not alone. The Spirit moved, others helped bear my burden. I was enveloped in a peace only the Disciple can know.

Part 2 below

6:06 AM  
Blogger Christian Hadash said...

Part 2

The confrontation by this exceptional moment- The moment, of Saul into Paul, when the scales fall from our eyes, when touched by the Divine (often through human hands). This moment, is ALL about realizing how the ordinary, broken, parts of our "reality" are crushingly eclipsed by His extraordinary awesomeness... How amazing HE is!m

So lend me your story, and/or take courage from mine...

The last 3 years written from the perspective of "hurt" or "trauma" for me. It is in a generally precise chronology, but is a non-comprehensive list, with little detail:

- ~2011 starts my last grandparent dies.
-Sold or gave away all of our stuff, except that which would fit in a 4x6 U-hall
-Getting my family ready to move to the mission field.
-The Church we just left for the mission field looks as though it may fall apart, or split
- July 2011, Friend and mentor Dies
-2011 July, Brother-in-Law dies because of a tiny mistake in routine surgery
-2011 September,The flight and goodbyes, and acclamation into a new place, a new country, language.
-Every thing we have is now is in 2 bags per family member. (what we can fit on the airplane).
-living with other families in a 'hostel-like' building while we look for more permanent housing.
-The politics of the new church in this new country and people are beginning to surface, and they are so far removed from my ethical and congenial comfort zone.
-Moving into a "new" house in a new country. This will be our 4th move in 4 months.
-There is not AC in our "new" house. The roof is open as it connects to the walls, birds and bugs, and mosquitoes are our constant companions.
-2011 November, The questions of, "Was this right? Is our family okay? Is the team functioning... just the general doubts, which play on the human mind no matter how 'prepared' one (or all) is for the big "Move."
-From the rural outreach points: Our vehicle has been used now half a dozen times as an ambulance. this is the first time one of our "pick-ups" dies
-Christmas eve with our team, and others is int interrupted by a broken water main. Broken language for, "help," as I rush to our new neighbors. And then amazement as the man takes 15-20 minutes to chisel through concrete, form and glue PVC pieces out of spare, "throw away" parts, and has our water: cleaned up, turned on, running, and he is back with his family like nothing ever happened.
-the morale punch when specific mission-focused plans fail to teach and serve in this (____X____) way. And the new floundering that follows, as our group, and family learn where we 'now' fit in this effort.
-2012 January A mentor of mine dies unexpectedly
-Six months now in our new country, and the first of what will be many "cluster headaches" hits. A pain so intense for the 15-30 mins. of agony... there are no words. Take your worst migrane and multiply by 20 while simultaneously ramming a red hot poker into the top of your skull. If you can imagine this you are 2/3rds of the way there.
-2012 April: Our vehicle is used as a hearse for the first but not last time.
-2012 May: I've now seen 2 children that died in or just after birth. Another has died, hold is perfect cold body for a moment before we take his mother to seek medical attention. later that day I will run 70+ meters with another pregnant woman, who is in the throws of labor, water broken/dehydrated. I will later find she gave birth to twins. One bears my name now :)

6:12 AM  
Blogger Christian Hadash said...

Part 3/3

-2012 May, A very dear friend and ex-colleague of mine dies unexpectedly
-2012 November, a friend from college dies in car accident
-2012 November An Ulcer (from Ibuprofen, not stress or infection) takes me out of the game for about 2 weeks.
-2013 needed to move the family... Again!
-2013 Oct. we host a paraplegic (1.5 mnths.) with pressure ulcers. 2hrs each night sanatizing and treating his wounds (antibiotic resistant staff and strep throughout)... so the hospital will allow him surgery. (He's alive and well)
-2013 Dec. Two people have a key to my house other than family. One dies in a car accident.
-2013 Dec-2014 trading "watch cycles" with the other friend who has a key to our house with an 'untouchable' as he slowly dies in the hospital.
-2014 above friend turns back to the "bottle" after loosing so much sleep, back pain, and grief. 9 yrs. w/o a drink.
-2014 He is not there when the man finally passes. He has no family, I take a breath and play
-2014 April The church here is attacked by satan as one man's pride divides many
-2014 I'm loosing the above mentioned friend to Alcohol. He comes close to loosing his life one night after slicing up his hand and loosing a lot of blood.
-none of this mentions the death and beheading of an employee and translator, the break-ins and thefts, the two physical altercations, that I didn't know we're coming until they were there. Another good friend run out of town because of alleged lewd act. The hospital where MY WIFE was put into a low security jail cell. The serious injuries of mine and others that I've had to learn to deal with immediately..., I'm a practicing GP and dentist and have no training in either...I've given injections sewn up my own flesh as well as other's. I have patched teeth, pulled teeth and worked on my own broken tooth. I've run interference with a significant mercury spill, without any protective gear... During the middle of worship. The list just keeps going, I think
Have you had enough yet? Me too.
There's actually more!... It is weary even to write of it though. Not weary for the reasons one might think though. It is hard because though I remember these pains clear as day... Recalling them means I must think back into things God has already, brought me through.

6:13 AM  
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